Author l MuQing
Source L satiryuer (id:satiryuer)
In 1961, the writer Hemingway committed suicide.
It was a shotgun that was used to end his life.
For Hemingway, the unhappy childhood has always been a nightmare: the mother’s excessive control, the father’s suicide, the cold and repressed family atmosphere, and the children’s needs have not been paid attention to.
Many of Hemingway’s later writings were aimed at healing his childhood.
Not every unhappy child can be Hemingway. Growth is irreversible, which also reminds us to let those growing children have a happy childhood.
Perhaps the greatest happiness of a child is to be allowed to do these four things
Be allowed to fantasize
Father daughter circle fans named by a pair of CCTV:
Father Sanshi and his daughter Xiaoyu are most impressed by the loveless expression of father Sanshi.
At 7:45, my daughter Xiaoyu was still picking up her breakfast.
Obviously, my daughter is so angry that I have a stomachache, but my father is so dumb that he keeps his mouth shut and waits quietly.
The performance of Sanshi’s father in the circle has become a clear stream in the circle of parents. He carefully pulled the daily life of “Sanshi’s family” and had to sigh: Xiaoyu is really a happy child!
Unlike other children who constantly correct their behavior under the “standard” rules of their parents from time to time, Xiao Yu has a lot of time to “fantasize” without being disturbed or stopped.
When the school bell rang, the students left the school with joy, but Xiaoyu of the Sanshi family put her hands in her pockets and looked up at the sky with 45 °.
What is the mystery in the sky? Did Xiao Yu see the fairyland
Across the screen, you can feel the luck of a child who is allowed to be free and the helplessness of a father who is quietly waiting for his child to go home.
Perhaps it is this carefully cared for free mind. Although Xiao Yu is not outstanding in her study, her imagination and practical ability are outstanding.
All kinds of fruits and ingredients are refreshing after her skillful transformation.
Eating watermelon is an artistic performance.
Banana peel has been transformed into octopus. Eighteen generations of banana ancestors never imagined that they would turn from fruit to seafood.
After her hands, the humble mushroom turned into a vivid tortoise and staged a “tortoise meeting”.
And the crab, under her instigation, turned into a centipede that made people’s scalp numb
Some people say that the secret of happiness is imagination.
I think so.
A child who can fantasize freely in his own life has endless curiosity, which will be the driving force for them to explore the world in the future and will produce infinite creativity. And this kind of strength must germinate and thrive in early childhood, otherwise it is easy to shrink.
Education, not only norms and supervision; Education sometimes needs “indulgence”; Allowing children to think is also a seemingly negative but actually positive education.
Those quiet moments that seem to have been wasted by children are actually watering the fertile soil for children’s lives, waiting for the future to accumulate and sprout energetic vitality and strength.
Give freedom and run
In Emil, the educator Rousseau pointed out:
“Nature wants children to look like children before they become adults.
If we disturb this order, we will produce some premature fruits that are neither full nor sweet, and will soon rot. we will bring up some young doctors and old children. “
I thought of a sad news. The girl who once became a global sensation at the age of 5 committed suicide shortly after her 16th birthday.
Just a few hours before her suicide, the girl’s mother received a notice that her child would graduate from high school with excellent grades next month, but none of this could stop the girl’s decision to end her life.
Her name is kailia. She became popular when she participated in a children’s beauty contest in the United States at the age of 5.
In fact, as early as the age of 3, kailia’s focus of life was to participate in the “Beauty Pageant”. She made up heavily and dressed up. She repeatedly climbed the podium and received various honorary medals.
In the spotlight, her every smile is the standard of beauty pageant; Outside the camera, in order to participate in the beauty pageant, she did not know how much hard work children of her age had never done: learning talents and insisting on physical exercise.
As a girl growing up under the lens all the way, kailia has always been the focus of people’s eyes. On the surface, she is sunny and strange.
But in fact, all these appearances are just the illusion that girls please the world.
Informed friends said that, in fact, kailia has been fighting against mental health. Unfortunately, the situation is worse than expected.
In the end, she became the happy fruit of the world, but she couldn’t make herself happy.
In order to have a good development for their children in the future, many parents design life tracks for their children early, and help them run forward when their children are still staggering.
At an age when children are supposed to play, they are busy making a living; However, the parents proudly declared that it was the children who enjoyed the highlight on the podium.
However, those children who did not release their playful nature in childhood will eventually be unable to freely cross the future of life because of this regret of life time.
Just like kailia, who can imagine such a smiling girl ending her life so decisively?
Psychiatrist stuartbrown once spent 42 years interviewing 6000 people. The results showed that children who did not play freely in childhood may be unhappy when they grow up and relatively difficult to adapt to the new environment.
Playing is the nature of every child. Only children who are allowed to play in childhood can become children with a sense of happiness.
Because it is the free play that nourishes the child’s vitality and helps the child cope with the complex life in the future with a healthy body and mind.
Be valued and solve every question mark
“Who can help me with the children?”
A father had no choice but to ask for help online.
It turned out that his brain could not bear the burden of “storm” because he was caught in the strange questions of his children every day.
At first, the child’s problem was simple. What about “if someone manicures a pet dog, what about a wild dog?” his father fooled him by saying “a wild man manicures a wild dog”.
But gradually, the child’s problems became more and more tricky. According to his father, it was simply “a series of deadly questions”:
Son: “why do you have such a big stomach?”
Dad: “because I can eat.”
Son: “why can you eat?”
Dad: “because I’m hungry.”
Next, every answer from the father became the “why” of the son. Finally, the father was forced to collapse: “because the father is a pig!”
The father’s answer was hilarious, but in the comment area, he was brushed by “the same child”.
Parents have roast: how to deal with the wonderful children at home?
One of the comments is particularly touching: every question of a child can be answered seriously. Is it not a kind of childhood happiness?
Yes, looking back on our childhood, we are still “pestering” our parents, hoping to explore this colorful world from their mouths.
Every time, when we can get an answer from our parents’ mouth, true or false, it is a kind of satisfied happiness.
And every time we are scolded or rejected by our parents because of inappropriate questioning, we feel so depressed and painful that it seems as if we finally find a clue to connect with the world, and then stop abruptly.
Famous singer chenmeiling said: when children ask questions, never say “wait a minute”.
Parents who actively answer questions will make their children feel that asking questions is a good thing. This constantly stimulates the child’s curiosity and enriches the child’s knowledge.
On the contrary, if parents passively answer, refuse to answer, or even scold their children, they will virtually make the children feel that asking questions will trouble others.
Over time, the child’s curiosity is suppressed. In the face of anything, they are indifferent. For things they don’t understand, the child gradually doesn’t want to ask questions.
Every question of a child needs to be taken seriously. Even if many questions have no answers, parents can at least give their children a feeling and response. The happy life of “living to meet new things” helps them embark on a positive life path.
Be warm and always have someone to talk with
In his autobiographical children’s literature, the little bean by the window, Japanese writer Katsuko kuriuchi talked about something that made her happy and unforgettable all her life.
That day, xiaodoudou, who had been dropped out of school, went to the “Ba School Park” for an interview under the leadership of his mother.
Here, she met an interesting Mr. Kobayashi.
Unlike other principals who are serious and frightening, President Kobayashi pulled up his chair, leaned forward and said to xiaodoudou, “tell me something you think is interesting!”
In this way, over the next four hours, President Xiaolin listened to xiaodoudou’s speech with great interest. He did not disturb or show impatience until xiaodoudou felt that he had nothing to say.
Many years later, when xiaodoudou recalled her childhood, she couldn’t help sighing:
“No matter before or after this, no adult has listened to Xiao Doudou so carefully.”
There is a kind of loneliness, not no one to accompany, but no one to talk with.
Talking with a child is not about whether the child has enough to eat and wear, nor is it about whether the child has finished his homework.
To talk with children, parents need to go into their children’s hearts and achieve spiritual intersection with their children with emotional voices.
Be sad for the children and be happy for the children, so that the children can truly feel that their parents’ hearts are always with them.
To talk with the child, the parents need to squat down and talk with the child from the perspective of looking down.
Listen to children, not charity; Speaking with children is a natural verbal communication or emotional exchange.
It seems simple to talk with children, but it is often overlooked by parents.
How long has it been since you talked to your children? From today on, take some time to talk with your children!
What effect does childhood have on one’s life?
Psychologist sigmundfreud said that it was a “round body rotation” journey.
A person’s life style in adulthood often revolves around his childhood life. For some people, his life may be just a repeated childhood experience throughout his life.
Childhood is precious. It is an insurmountable starting stage of every child’s life and has a far-reaching impact on the child’s life.
Allow the child to do what he feels happy in childhood, play the craziest games, say the most naive words, and spend the most energetic time of his life.
After many years, this free and full of laughter may be able to warm all the pain of his life for the rest of his life, heal the pain of life, and become the tearful smile when he recalls.