Portrait of caiwenji
This night is so long that I can finish reading the pedigree of a woman’s heart. It is complete and full of painful sadness. My eyes are full of familiar and strange things. Sandstorm, corpse, exile, forgetfulness, silk, milk, dispersion, redemption, water Finally, there is the back of a woman as hard as a rock. A lamp that never goes out.
What I want to say here is caiwenji.
She is a woman with many ill fates. He lost his parents from childhood, became a widow and a prisoner, and left his second husband and children in middle age. In this way, she is still unique among the talented women with both talent and appearance in ancient times.
As soon as I think of her, she quickly becomes two people in my heart: one is caiwenji, who I knew earlier. She is a talented woman, erudite and talented, and good at melody. Her “Hu Jia 18 Pai”, which knocks on the sky and asks the earth and tells her life experience with troubled times, has become a masterpiece through the ages; The other is caiwenji, who has been exiled in the western regions for “two decades, felt curtain sandstorm” and suffered from pain. In the long and tortuous time, the faces of these two women seemed to enter an old-fashioned turnstile, transparent and multiple, which made me feel unreachable.
Her father Cai Yong is a famous scholar in China, who is proficient in diction, mathematics, astronomy and melody. In calligraphy, it is really “subject to God and man”. However, during the period of Ren Yilang and Zuo Zhonglang, they offended some powerful people because of their integrity, vulgarity and evil, and dare to speak out and admonish. They were falsely accused by the court officials of “private resentment, abolishing the public, plotting against ministers, having evil intentions in the king, and the crime should be abandoned”. Fortunately, Chang Shi LV Qiang tried his best to play a face-to-face show to Emperor Hanling, saying that Cai Yong was innocent, filial and virtuous, and meritorious to the Han Dynasty, which made emperor Hanling feel compassionate, ordered that he be exempted from death, and exiled with his family members to the border (to the North of lajin banner in Inner Mongolia). From then on, he died all his life and was no longer removed by an amnesty. With a long sigh from Cai Yong, they had no choice but to embark on the road of exile for 20 years.
According to the calculation of time, caiwenji grew up on the way of her father’s exile. Father. The word father was first brought to caiwenji by Cai Yong. What kind of enlightenment does this word bring to her. Her worship and trust in her father were completely replaced by this revelation.
Her father is her idol, shown in wisdom and courage. The exile outside the territory is a wasteland. Her tall and powerful father is connected with the wasteland, so something grows madly in her heart. Her father led her to the world outside the wilderness, to the world outside her sight, and taught her calligraphy, astronomy, rhythm, calligraphy, etc. Her lips and body degenerated in the magic of the language. Whether it’s sunny or rainy, the rhythm of this language continues. It seems that this is a pure and transparent life between their father and daughter that will never wake up.
The world is big. But in ancient times, a woman had little room to move. Wenji opens the window every morning, and the sun suddenly rushes in. The countless tiny dust flying like elves pounced on her head and face, telling her the beginning of a new day.
At that time, her life was mostly peaceful. Excitement and anxiety have also existed. Learn to read rhythm, calligraphy, read poetry every day, read, write and speak freely, just like a person who finally surfaced the sea, cherishing the boundless fresh air, clouds, blue sky and flocks of birds.
Life goes on – this is her luck, carrying an unknown future, waiting to follow her. At such moments, her eyes are very quiet, always like staring at something, but what she is staring at is unknown to others – like far away, or in her heart. Caiwenji was born in troubled times, but she concentrated on love, beauty and purity. This quiet and beauty itself is puzzling.
You know, such a woman usually doesn’t complain about anything. She is elegant, intellectual and docile as gold. She is always in meditation, and she is beautiful in any situation. Both body and spirit are beautiful.
This night is so long that I can finish reading the pedigree of a woman’s heart. It is complete and full of painful sadness. My eyes are full of familiar and strange things. Sandstorm, corpse, exile, forgetfulness, silk, milk, dispersion, redemption, water Finally, there is the back of a woman as hard as a rock. A lamp that never goes out.
What I want to say here is caiwenji.
She is a woman with many ill fates. He lost his parents from childhood, became a widow and a prisoner, and left his second husband and children in middle age. In this way, she is still unique among the talented women with both talent and appearance in ancient times.
As soon as I think of her, she quickly becomes two people in my heart: one is caiwenji, who I knew earlier. She is a talented woman, erudite and talented, and good at melody. Her “Hu Jia 18 Pai”, which knocks on the sky and asks the earth and tells her life experience with troubled times, has become a masterpiece through the ages; The other is caiwenji, who has been exiled in the western regions for “two decades, felt curtain sandstorm” and suffered from pain. In the long and tortuous time, the faces of these two women seemed to enter an old-fashioned turnstile, transparent and multiple, which made me feel unreachable.
Her father Cai Yong is a famous scholar in China, who is proficient in diction, mathematics, astronomy and melody. In calligraphy, it is really “subject to God and man”. However, during the period of Ren Yilang and Zuo Zhonglang, they offended some powerful people because of their integrity, vulgarity and evil, and dare to speak out and admonish. They were falsely accused by the court officials of “private resentment, abolishing the public, plotting against ministers, having evil intentions in the king, and the crime should be abandoned”. Fortunately, Chang Shi LV Qiang tried his best to play a face-to-face show to Emperor Hanling, saying that Cai Yong was innocent, filial and virtuous, and meritorious to the Han Dynasty, which made emperor Hanling feel compassionate, ordered that he be exempted from death, and exiled with his family members to the border (to the North of lajin banner in Inner Mongolia). From then on, he died all his life and was no longer removed by an amnesty. With a long sigh from Cai Yong, they had no choice but to embark on the road of exile for 20 years.
According to the calculation of time, caiwenji grew up on the way of her father’s exile. Father. The word father was first brought to caiwenji by Cai Yong. What kind of enlightenment does this word bring to her. Her worship and trust in her father were completely replaced by this revelation.
Her father is her idol, shown in wisdom and courage. The exile outside the territory is a wasteland. Her tall and powerful father is connected with the wasteland, so something grows madly in her heart. Her father led her to the world outside the wilderness, to the world outside her sight, and taught her calligraphy, astronomy, rhythm, calligraphy, etc. Her lips and body degenerated in the magic of the language. Whether it’s sunny or rainy, the rhythm of this language continues. It seems that this is a pure and transparent life between their father and daughter that will never wake up.
The world is big. But in ancient times, a woman had little room to move. Wenji opens the window every morning, and the sun suddenly rushes in. The countless tiny dust flying like elves pounced on her head and face, telling her the beginning of a new day.
At that time, her life was mostly peaceful. Excitement and anxiety have also existed. Learn to read rhythm, calligraphy, read poetry every day, read, write and speak freely, just like a person who finally surfaced the sea, cherishing the boundless fresh air, clouds, blue sky and flocks of birds.
Life goes on – this is her luck, carrying an unknown future, waiting to follow her. At such moments, her eyes are very quiet, always like staring at something, but what she is staring at is unknown to others – like far away, or in her heart. Caiwenji was born in troubled times, but she concentrated on love, beauty and purity. This quiet and beauty itself is puzzling.
You know, such a woman usually doesn’t complain about anything. She is elegant, intellectual and docile as gold. She is always in meditation, and she is beautiful in any situation. Both body and spirit are beautiful.
Since then, caiwenji’s miserable life in the western regions began. Time stretches forward endlessly, and the day is painfully long. In this dry and windy exotic grassland, people walking around are Huns, saying things she can’t understand. It seems that she lives on an isolated island.
And what about the night? Her dark life is unfathomable. At night, the tragedy between men and women still exists thousands of years later. King zuoxien of the southern Hun covered her body with a heavy body, asking her endlessly to become his container, but he didn’t know that the whole soul of the woman covered under his body had wandered in the distance.
She was so afraid of his body that it even prevented her body from flying. After the rude rhythm, Zuo Xianwang climbed down from her body and fell asleep, but she was awake until the sky outside the tent became bright.
She is extremely unfit for life outside the plateau. Hungry, only raw beef and mutton chewed in the tent, and there was hardly any food to swallow. Because of insomnia, her eyes are getting darker and darker, which makes her eyes more and more deep, so deep that it seems to be closer to her inner world. Later, caiwenji truthfully recorded her life in the Xiongnu in her poem of sadness and indignation (II):
I can’t sleep peacefully
When hungry, I can’t eat
I often shed tears and don’t dry my canthus
Bo Zhijie Xi read death
Although I live, I can’t see my face
But the other side Xi Yuanyang essence
Yin Qi condenses, snow disappears in summer
The desert is choked with dust
With vegetation, spring is not glorious
People are like animals. They eat stinky food
I’m talking about leaving, and I’m like stopping
When I am old and late, I step forward
The night is long and the door is closed
I can’t sleep, I can’t get up and camp
Ascend the Hu palace and face the Guangting
The dark clouds merge, and the moon and stars are covered
The north wind is fierce and cold
The hoof moves and the horse chirps
Lonely geese come back and make a sound
In such a foreign life that life is worse than death, she virtualized every moment of her death more than once, which brought her an amazing pleasure, made her dizzy and forgotten
She finally survived. If death is a kind of fear, then death itself has temptation. Death is for immortality – this seems to be the reason for seducing her. For those suffering and dirty existence in life, and for her trapped in life despair, “living” has always been a secret belief. Today, this belief is being absorbed by the thin and crisp sunshine.
Every day, she slept heavily and listened to the wind outside the tent. The faces of my late father, mother and dead husband, the eaves of my hometown, the drizzle and the long wet hair in the rain all flashed in my memory, as if a hand was touching her and needed her to answer.
However, everything was silent. All worldly distractions are no longer fettered by the simple desire to “live”. “Live” is like a prophecy in the world, surging in her heart, and still chatting with her before she collapsed. At the age of 19, caiwenji began her foreign career of pommel horse and felt curtain.
time rolls on. Caiwenji was really happy when someone came to the western regions from the Central Plains. Just “welcome their news, often reply not in the village”. Hometown has become as far away as a dream in her heart. For many days and nights, the faces of her hometown and deceased relatives were ripples in her heart, spreading layer by layer and gathering layer by layer. She wants to leave the western regions and return to the Central Plains with them. Standing outside the tent, boundless withered grass spread from under her robe, carrying the wind of dust and sand, and her heart was excited at the thought. However, at this time, she found that she was pregnant.
The baby in the womb is not her and Zuo Xianwang
love
But the result of King Zuo Xian’s barbarism again and again. But she had to give birth to her child.
For generations, men will not feel the fear and joy of a woman after pregnancy. Standing outside the tent, caiwenji heard the strange and familiar hometown dialect in the tent rippling towards her body like water waves, and time seemed to stop. She also felt the wonderful changes in her body. It was a convulsive vibration. She covered her abdomen with her hands in surprise and fear – it was an indefatigable moment. The child in the abdomen is already kicking her, like another fuzzy person coming through the night. Is this person her flesh or her soul?
Caiwenji quietly gave up the idea of returning to the Central Plains. She stood outside the tent, letting the wind blow across her cheek. At this time, caiwenji was in tears. Caiwenji had two sons in the Huns for twelve years. How did she spend these twelve years? In the eighteen pictures of Hu Jia, she confided deeply into the marrow, and it was touching to read all of them:
Force me to come home
Take me to the end of the world
It’s not suitable for me to treat different customs
Who should be prosecuted for being vulgar
Felt fur for clothes, bone and flesh shocked
The smell of Capricorn suppresses my feelings
Thousands of years later, I saw the face of a woman with deep autumn. I caught her tears, but I couldn’t bear her sad fate. However, as long as
history
It’s enough to restore her a little bit of truth. Caiwenji was a weak woman who was abducted from the Central Plains to the western regions. During the twelve years of exile in Hu Di, she endured the humiliation and resentment of being abducted, and it was difficult to communicate with King Zuo Xian emotionally. She has never been used to eating raw beef and mutton with a smell of mutton. As a Hun, King Zuo Xian was used to conquering women by force. Therefore, beating, scolding and insulting are common things, which made her express the feeling that “I am the only one who has a bad life, and I am the most bitter.”. I can’t imagine her face. However, when I was a teenager, I saw the dance drama “caiwenji”. The actress who played caiwenji still makes me remember deeply: wide forehead, long eyes, thin nose, thick lips with a smile, that is a very simple and ordinary woman’s face. There is no Zhucui on her head and no fancy clothes on her body. Because she is wearing a black felt robe, the rough texture makes people feel that she is a woman who has been exposed to the northern desert wind for many years. The broad smile at the corner of her mouth was faintly visible, but her slightly frowned eyebrows seemed to be tied with heavy worries.
At first, she protested fiercely to the actor who played the southern Hun Shan Yu Zuo Xian Wang. Then she grabbed her hair bun with both hands, as if to tear it apart, and then her arms hugged each other like cold. Later, all the actors left the stage, leaving her alone. Sometimes she stretched her arms forward, like a delicate bird begging; Sometimes I touch my heart and look up at the sky, as if I were pouring out the pain of my life experience to the sky:
Why don’t you see me drifting alone? For God has spirit, what’s wrong with me? I’m not disappointed. How can the sky match me? I’m living up to my God. Why should I cross the barren state?
It fell heavily, on her and on me. At that time, I was young, and my young heart could not bear her pain. This pain, which is far away from the secular world and very persistent in the heart, has become a symbol of fate. She is struggling in this web of fate, a kind of woman who exudes all over her body. Twelve years later, Wenji will finally return to Han.
This is the story of the 18th time in Hu Jia’s 18 times, which has had a great impact on later generations. Guo Moruo praised it: “it’s like an endless sea wave, it’s like an active volcano erupting lava, and it’s a masterpiece uttered by the whole soul.” He added, “I don’t think even Li Taibai can draw up this poem. He doesn’t have that kind of courage and heavy experience.” Hu Jisheng. The desolate music and sad and soothing dance steps are like an invisible snow, an indescribable struggle of disobedience with the flavor of the beauty era in the western regions, as I was later familiar with. Thanks to Wenji’s return to Han
Cao Cao
Help each other. According to the history books, after several years of recuperation and recuperation since the defeat of the battle of Chibi, Cao Cao regained his military power and was later crowned king of Wei, which has a high prestige in the north. At this time, Cao Cao remembered that Wenji, the daughter of Cai Yong, his old friend who respected him as a brother, was still living in the southern Huns. Mindful of the talent of Caiyong Wusi and Wenji, he decided to do anything to redeem Wenji for returning to the Han Dynasty.
It happened that Shan Yu huchuquan of the southern Huns came to Yecheng (now Linzhang County, Hebei Province, the capital of Cao Cao’s fief) to pay tribute. Cao Cao left huchuquan as a hostage in Yecheng.
In the 13th year of Jian’an (208 A.D.), Cao Cao took gold as a heavy gift and sent his envoy, tuntian Duwei Dong Si, to the southern Huns to explain to the wise king Cao Cao’s intention to redeem caiwenji and return to the Han Dynasty.
At first, King Zuo Xian violently refused Wenji’s request to return to the Han Dynasty, but at the thought of the southern Hun Hu Chuquan Shan Yu being held hostage in Yecheng, Cao Cao would immediately send troops to the western regions if he did not agree. King Zuo Xian was afraid of Cao Cao’s will. In this way, caiwenji’s fate of being exiled from the western regions for 12 years had a new turn. It’s time to leave the western regions. On the day Wenji left, it rained. The dense drizzle made a pattering sound. The sky, however, darkened in the rain, like her flickering mood at this time.
Seeing the prepared luggage in the tent and hearing the fine footsteps of the horses outside the tent, Cai Wenji’s two young and ignorant children widened their eyes and rushed forward to hug her. Naively, they asked her where she was going, how long she was going, and when she would come back. We were reluctant to let you go. Wenji’s heart was about to break, and she turned away wordlessly. I have been in the western regions for 12 years, and this picture is deeply tired
Tired, but still beautiful face, faint traces of desert wind after chaos, people can’t help but want to reach out and touch, it must be rough.
When she saw the innocent appearance of two young children rushing over and chirping, her face must be full of weak tenderness. When everything became as rough as the desert wind in the western regions, only the two children’s faces were like delicate fresh flowers. However, in order to leave the western regions permanently, caiwenji made the decision to abandon her son and return to the Han Dynasty.
This parting is the boundlessness of life and death.
Like all mothers in the world, since Wenji became the mother of two children, she has paid all her love to them. The mother loves the child and the child loves the mother. This love always has a soothing meaning. Warm, kind and full of expectation Children are her soul and part of her body.
Welcome home and return to peace
Dying and living on the long road
My son cries to his mother, and I lose my voice
I can’t bear to listen
Caiwenji is also a mother’s woman. What did she bear and pay? When later generations read her immortal book “continuation of the Han Dynasty”, dumbfounded by her amazing talent, they forgot that Cai Wenji, as a woman, lived outside the ideal picture.
We’re on our way. When she stepped on the carriage, she heard the two young children behind her pulling their lapels and wailing, her heart was like a runaway wild horse running, and every fall of the horse’s hoof seemed to trample her heart. More rain fell, and the world was full of rain. Like her tears. Caiwenji sat in the carriage, solidified like a mountain, but her low head and eyes hid the sorrow of the death of mother and son in the world like iron. Caiwenji just left. That year, she was thirty-two years old. After returning to the Han Dynasty, caiwenji married for the third time with the help of Cao Cao. This time she married
Dongsi, the tuntian Du Wei who came to the western regions to pick her up and return to the Han Dynasty. Dong Si undoubtedly knew Cai Wenji’s experience very well. On the difficult way to pick her up to Han,
He takes good care of Wenji. A love story begins like this. The kind of love story that can happen at any time, at any time, anywhere. For Wenji, who has never been in love for 12 years, this warmth is like dew in the dry land, watering her withered and dead heart little by little.
This simple, doomed love is neither great nor amazing. Love always has its special and individual side. Compared with the earthy ordinary life, love is a miracle. In the third year after marriage, do not want Dong Si to break the law and be sentenced to death, caiwenji’s life was ill fated, this unfortunate news undoubtedly once again let her heart sink into the ice.
Tragedy is still inevitable. It seemed to be her fate. Will she see other fates and endings? Caiwenji did not want and could not bear to see her relatives die again. This is also the instinctive reaction of most people in the face of death. After all, people can only live once, and death will deprive people of all. In order to save her husband, caiwenji decided to risk her life to beg Cao Cao.
Cao Cao was an excellent friend of her father Cai Yong during his lifetime. He not only had the heroism of a man who “sang about wine, how about life”, but also attached great importance to righteousness and talent. Wenji had been exiled in the western regions for 12 years, and Cao Cao did not hesitate to pay a lot of money to redeem her for returning to the Han Dynasty. Thinking of this, her heart seemed to regain a glimmer of vitality. At that time, Cao Cao was entertaining a distant post envoy. Seeing Wenji’s disheveled head in vain, he kowtowed to him as soon as he entered the door, pleading bitterly. It was touching to hear.
Seeing that she was so sincere, Cao Cao sighed: “I sympathize with your past and present experiences, but the official document of execution has been issued. What can I do?” Wenji pleaded, “Ming has thousands of good horses and thousands of warriors. Why not send a knight to save Dong Si’s dying life? Wenji will be grateful for what Ming has done today.” Dong Si was thus pardoned by Cao Cao for his death. After Cao Cao ordered Dong Si to return, he asked Wenji, “I heard that your father had many works in his lifetime. Can you recall them?” Wenji replied, “my father wrote more than 4000 volumes of books before his death, and they have all been separated. Now I can recite more than 400.” Cao Cao was very happy to hear this, and immediately ordered her to prepare a written book for her, wolf hair, and asked her to recall her book. Two years later, Wenji wrote the continuation of the Han Dynasty.
Cao Cao looked at Cai Wenji’s leaving figure and said nothing for a long time. He knows about Wenji in Hu. But after returning to Han, she never mentioned her experiences in the western regions in front of him and anyone. Caiwenji’s poem in the second chapter of poetry, written later, is the answer to Cao Cao’s question: “exile becomes despicable, and I often fear that it will be donated again.” Wenji may understand what these two poems mean to herself and others. Maybe they are both a kind of forgetfulness and a kind of self stimulation. There is a needle under her pen. I can imagine her standing in front of the window in the middle of the night. Standing in front of the window, staring at the world, others and yourself, there is something slowly waking up. It was a misty morning in spring. In a trance, a female voice was singing slowly and long. The continuous voice told of suffering, sadness and eternal anxiety of fate. They are bound, entangled, reincarnated, and free Always in memory. That is the continuation of historical reality. Until today.