In the first year of Emperor Wu’s accession to the throne, that is, the first year of Jianyuan (140 BC), he recruited virtuous, upright and literary talents. Scholars and scholars from all over the country have written to apply for jobs. Dongfang Shuo also wrote to Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, “historical records? Funny biographies” records this way: “when Shuo first entered Chang’an and wrote on the bus, he used 3000 pieces of paper. The bus made the two people hold and hold his book together, but he could only win it. People read it from the top, stop at it, always follow its place, and read it in February.” In other words, it took three thousand bamboo slips for Dongfang Shuo to write to Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty. Two people could afford it. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty read it for two months.
In this unprecedented self recommendation, Dongfang Shuo said shamelessly, “I lost my parents when I was a teenager and grew up relying on my brother and sister-in-law. I studied hard at the age of 13, and I had enough literature and history books to read in three winters. I learned fencing at the age of 15 and poetry and book at the age of 16.” , read 220000 words. At the age of 19, he learned Sun Wu’s art of war and the manipulation of battle formation, and knew the usage of various weapons, as well as the Zhenggu of soldiers’ advance and retreat in battle. I also read 220000 words in this book, a total of 440000 words. I admire Zilu’s bold words. Now I am twenty-two years old and nine feet three inches tall. His eyes are bright, like bright beads, his teeth are white and neat like arranged shells, his courage is like Meng Ben, his agility is like Qingji, his honesty is like Uncle Bao, and his faithfulness is like Weisheng. I’m such a man with both civil and military skills, both talent and beauty. Can I be a minister of the son of heaven!… “
Dongfang Shuo’s personal profile, “historical records” rated it as “good diction, high self praise”. However, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was deeply attracted by Dongfang Shuo and regarded him as a genius. In this talent “audition” activity, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty found two treasures: Dong Zhongshu and Dongfang Shuo. However, although Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty liked Dongfang Shuo very much, he still used it with discretion. After all, it was only a “high self praise” trifle, and did not put forward a decent way of governing the country. Compared with Dong Zhongshu, Dongfang Shuo is certainly not in the same heavyweight. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty issued three consecutive policies to Dong Zhongshu, while he only gave Dongfang Shuo a treatment of waiting for the imperial edict of the Emperor (that is, waiting for the imperial edict in the Yamen of the “official edict”, which is actually a subordinate consultant). Compared with Dong Zhongshu of the same grade, Dongfang Shuo has a low status and poor treatment, and it is rare to see Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty.
Dongfang Shuo was very excited when he just waited for the imperial edict “bus”. However, over time, Dongfang Shuo felt that he had no power and no profit. Like Bi Mawen in the heaven, he was just a decoration. Dongfang Shuo was determined to promote himself!
At this time, a group of happy dwarfs in the palace happened to pass by him, and Dongfang Shuo said to them in a fierce voice and color: the emperor said that you are useless at all, and you are ready to kill all you freeloaders!
The dwarfs were so frightened that they wailed and begged him to help them. Dongfang Shuo thought for a moment and said: if the emperor passes by here, you will kneel down and beg for mercy, which may be of some effect.
After a while, Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty passed by here, and the dwarfs knelt down in unison, crying and shouting “spare your life, the emperor”. Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty was baffled. The dwarfs said: Dongfang Shuo said that the emperor would kill all of us! Hearing this, Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty knew that Dongfang Shuo was making trouble, so he questioned him: why on earth did you scare the dwarfs half to death?
Dongfang Shuo said confidently: those dwarfs are only three feet, but their salary is a bag of rice and 240 money. I am nine feet three, and my salary is a bag of rice and 240 yuan. They were so hungry that they almost burst their stomachs, but I was so hungry that my heart was close to my back. If your majesty thinks my eloquence is still useful, let me eat first. If you think we’re useless, just let us go and don’t spoil the food in the capital. Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty was so happy that he immediately asked Dongfang Shuo to transfer from the “bus” to the golden horse gate to wait for the imperial edict. In this way, Dongfang Shuo’s treatment was improved and the opportunities to contact Emperor Wu were obviously more. This is the story of the famous Dongfang Shuo “Chang’an soMi”, which can well represent the funny style of Dongfang Shuo.
Dongfang Shuo (154 BC ~ 93 BC), with the word Manqian, was born in Pingyuan Qiangzi (Shentou Town, Dongling County, today). A poet of Western Han Dynasty. “Historical records” and “Hanshu” have records of Dongfang Shuo. In the reign of Emperor Wu, he only served as a small official such as a Chamberlain and a Taizhong doctor. His behavior was unruly, such as taking the leftover meat after dinner, soiling his clothes, marrying a girl with the money he gave, and marrying his wife after a year. He is humorous, quick in speech, funny and intelligent. He often talks and laughs in front of Emperor Wu, “when observing color, he speaks frankly” (Hanshu? Biography of Dongfang Shuo). Emperor Wu was so extravagant that he started Shanglinyuan, and Dongfang Shuo bluntly admonished him, saying that this was “taking the people’s fertile land, lacking the use of the country, seizing the agricultural and mulberry industry, and abandoning it
success
, it will be defeated “(Hanshu? Biography of Dongfang Shuo). He once talked about political gains and losses and Chen’s plan to strengthen the country through agricultural warfare, but Emperor Wu always treated him as a haiku actor and did not give him priority. “Historical records? Funny biographies” and “Hanshu? Biography of Dongfang Shuo” recorded his unique style of funny humor, frank advice and humorous advice. Because people have long admired Dongfang Shuo’s personality and his profound knowledge, they regard him as the sage of wisdom, the star of the year, the peach fairy, the funny master, and the star of knowledge. Later generations praise him as the ancestor of jokes, crosstalk, riddles, divination, and popular literature.
Dongfang Shuo was a famous and invincible orator at that time. It is said that at that time, there were several buckets of good wine on Junshan. If you can drink it, you can not die and become an immortal. After learning that, Emperor Wu lived in Zhai for seven days and sent Luan Ba to take dozens of boys and girls to the mountain to beg for it. As expected, they got immortal wine and brought it back to Emperor Wu. Before emperor Wu drank it, Dongfang Shuo secretly drank it up. So Emperor Wu was furious and ordered Dongfang Shuo to be beheaded. Dongfang Shuo said, “if the wine is effective, you kill me, I will not die; if it is not effective, what is the use of this wine?” Emperor Wu thought for a moment, understood the truth, and then laughed and let him go.
Dongfang Shuo dared to speak frankly to the emperor, and had repeatedly ingeniously admonished him. When Dongfang Shuo was a doctor of Taizhong, Zhaoping Jun married Princess Yi’an, the daughter of Emperor Wu. This zhaopingjun is the son of Princess longxie, the younger sister of Emperor Wu. He is domineering and often makes trouble, so Princess longxie is very worried. Before dying of serious illness, she took out thousands of Jin and tens of millions of money to redeem her son’s death in advance, and Emperor Wu agreed.
Sure enough, after his mother’s death, Zhaoping Jun became more arrogant and even killed Princess Yi’an’s mother (an old woman who was responsible for tutoring and caring for noble children in ancient times). According to the law of the Han Dynasty, it should be killing for life, but the ministers in the court dare not ask for execution, because Princess longxie had redeemed his death for him, and the emperor agreed. So the matter was referred to Emperor Wu, who himself decided. Emperor Wu said, “my sister died. She had only such a son. Before she died, she entrusted me.” At this point, he was full of tears and sighed for a long time. He said, “but the law was made by the former Emperor. I can’t violate the law because of my sister. Otherwise, how can I face entering the temple to see my ancestors? Not to mention betraying the world.” So he ordered Tingwei to behead Zhaoping Jun. After beheading Zhaoping, Emperor Wu was very sad, and the left and right ministers were also sad.
At this time, only Dongfang Shuo did not have a sad expression, but took a glass of wine to celebrate the birthday of Emperor Wu. He said, “I’ve heard that the sage king governs the country’s politics, rewards do not avoid enemies, and kills do not choose flesh and blood. This is what the ancient books say ‘no partisanship, no royal way’. These two things are valued by the five emperors, but also difficult for the three emperors to do. Now his majesty has done it, so that the people of the world can get their own places. This is a lucky thing. I hold a glass of wine in my hand, risk my death to worship again, and wish the emperor long live.” Emperor Wu didn’t say anything, so he got up and entered the palace.
In the evening, Emperor Wu summoned Dongfang Shuo and said, “the biography says: speak after the right time. Others don’t hate it. Today, Mr. Wu congratulated me on my birthday. Do you think it’s the right time?” Dongfang Shuo immediately took off his hat, kowtowed and apologized, “I heard that too much happiness would overflow the Yang, and too much sadness would be gloomy. Changes in Yin and Yang would destabilize the mood, and turbulence of the mood would distract the spirit. As soon as the spirit dissipated, evil spirits would invade, and the best way to eliminate depression was wine. The reason why I used wine to celebrate the birthday of the emperor was to show that his Majesty was upright and used it to stop mourning for the emperor. I don’t know taboo, and the crime should be damned.” Emperor Wu thought it was very reasonable. In the past, Dongfang Shuo once got drunk, broke into the palace, and urinated in the palace. Gong Zhongxun found it and impeached him for disrespect. Emperor Wu ordered him to be removed from his official position. Now, through this matter, Emperor Wu restored his Zhonglang official position and rewarded him with a hundred silks.
Dongfang Shuo is also a master of storytelling, and can teach in fun. In the court, there were always some officials who were both greedy for profit and lust, so Dongfang Shuo told a story to mock them. He said, “everything in the world is extremely small, nothing like mole ants and mosquitoes. However, listening to their debate with each other, what they say is also very reasonable. One day, ants boasted:” although we are small, we have the honor of a group of ministers, and we find dead edible insects that can be shared together, with the virtue of loyalty and filial piety. ” The fly was unconvinced and argued, “you are not as good as us. As long as we have a banquet, whether public or private, we can go into the house, visit their tables, taste their delicious food and drink their wine. This is our strength.” After listening to their words, the mosquito was very dismissive and said, “you are not as smart and happy as I am. When the candles in the xianggelan room where those beauties live are out late at night, we fly to her gauze tent, stop on the beauty’s jade body, gather on the beauty’s crisp chest, and choose a sweet, soft and tender place to bite. Have you ever enjoyed such a beautiful thing?” The ant and the fly were ashamed of themselves after hearing this, and both said unconvinced, “look at your thin and sharp mouth, but you are so lecherous.”
Dongfang Shuo is quite talented in literature, and his representative work is Fu style prose “answering guest difficulties”. This is a work of self mockery. The author pretends to criticize him as a “guest”: you are good at learning music and discussing wisdom, but you have been an official for decades. “An official is no more than a servant, and a position is no more than holding a halberd”. Is there any deficiency in moral behavior? Dongfang Shuo answered the guests’ questions, and used the fact that talented people in history failed to meet their talents to explain that being a lowly position is not because of lack of talent or moral defects, but the fact is that people with both ability and virtue are not reused. Therefore, their humble position is precisely the performance of moral integrity. “Answer the guest’s difficulty” is a masterpiece of prose, which is straightforward, thorough and literary. It also opened up a new field of Fu literature. Yang Xiong has jieridicule and Ban Gu has a drama of answering guests, all of which are developed from the form of answering guests’ difficulties.
Dongfang Shuo wrote a lot in his life, including answering the guest’s difficulties, the theory of Mr. Feiyou, Feng Taishan, the Bi of the responsibility and clan, and Shi Zishi. Later generations merged them into the Oriental central collection, which was included in the collection of one hundred and three families in the Han, Wei and six dynasties. Sima Qian called him “the hero of comedy” in the historical records. Xia houzhan, a native of the Jin Dynasty, wrote “Ode to Dongfang Shuo”, praising Dongfang Shuo for his integrity and wisdom. Yan Zhenqing, a great calligrapher in the Tang Dynasty, wrote this inscription, which is still preserved in Lingxian, a suburb of Dezhou, Shandong Province.