Every relationship needs boundaries. Whether it’s love or friendship. No boundaries, you and I do not distinguish. There is no distinction between you and me, and it is easy for people to have an illusion: what is yours is mine. We are one. Good things must be shared, hardships must be shared, and life does not have to be so clearly divided.
In “July and An Sheng”, the same is true for July and An Sheng. Because An Sheng was too adrift and insecure, July brought her back to her warm home. She said to An Sheng: “My home is your home.” They are each other’s friends and each other’s transparent people. In front of each other, they have no privacy. So later July’s boyfriend and An Sheng got on well. In “The Temptation of Going Home”, the one who grabbed Lin Pinru’s husband was also her self-confessed “best friend” Ellie.
In life, there are not a few people who are robbed of their boyfriends and husbands by their girlfriends. This is because their friends feel that the relationship between the two is too close, and everything is indistinguishable from each other. Did something wrong.
When a woman meets a good friend, it is easy for a woman to become a close friend. It is so good that they can mix oil with each other, regardless of each other, and become a sister-like relationship – a girlfriend. But this is dangerous. Because once it is metaphorically referred to as family, the nature changes. Family means unlimited responsibilities, unlimited rights, and unlimited obligations to each other, regardless of each other, and intimacy. In this relationship, any rationale, any boundaries will fail, and things will happen that ignore the bottom line.
Girlfriends and husband became familiar with each other.
Zhao Jing has a best friend who grew up together, named Lin Yue. The two have always been neighbors at home, and they have also been studying in the same school, but after graduating from high school, Zhao Jing was admitted to a famous university, and Lin Yue went to an ordinary second book because of her puppy love in high school. Even though the two were not in the same school, but The relationship between the two never diminished.
After graduating from university, Zhao Jing worked in a foreign company, where she met her husband Chen Cong. Both of them graduated from prestigious universities and have a lot of common topics, so they naturally got together.
After Zhao Jing found her boyfriend, she introduced her to her best friend Lin Yue, and asked her to help herself. Lin Yue was attracted by his temperament when she saw Chen Cong for the first time. After that, Zhao Jing also made frequent appointments. She and Chen Cong ate together, and over time they became acquainted with each other.
When Zhao Jing married Chen Cong, Lin Yue was Zhao Jing’s bridesmaid. After Zhao Jing got married, Lin Yue still often went to Zhao Jing’s house to grab a meal. Sometimes it was too late to take a taxi home. Zhao Jing sometimes asked Chen Cong to take Lin Yue back, and sometimes asked Lin Yue to stay with them. Stay at home.
After marriage, it was supposed to be a two-person world for husband and wife, but because of Lin Yue’s frequent visits, the three of them eat together at home more often, so Zhao Jing is not surprised by this.
The husband fell in love with his wife’s best friend, and the wife found out that the husband and her best friend were fulfilled.
Once, Lin Yue came to Zhao Jing’s house to find her, and found that Zhao Jing was not at home, only Chen Cong was at home, Chen Cong invited Lin Yue to stay for dinner, Lin Yue did not refuse, because she often ate at Zhao Jing’s house, and Chen Cong also Yes, so the two don’t feel awkward getting along with each other.
Both of them drank a little bit of alcohol in the evening. I don’t know if it was because of the drunkenness of alcohol or because they had some unusual thoughts about each other. They were together.
After sobering up the next day, the two of them were a little scared and a little fresh, and they didn’t feel much guilt in their hearts. After that, Lin Yue came more frequently. They often met secretly when Zhao Jing was not at home, and Zhao Jing didn’t notice it.
Zhao Jing often travels for work in a foreign company. Once, the company informed her that she was on a temporary business trip. She hurriedly returned home and packed her things, and then took a taxi to the airport. After walking halfway, she realized that she did not have a passport and asked the driver to turn around and go back. Take your passport. When she got home, she saw a pair of Lin Yue’s shoes in the shoe cabinet. She was thinking about why Lin Yue was not here, thinking that she heard the sound from the bedroom, she held her breath and walked up, pushing it away After the door, I found that the people lying on the bed were really my best friend Lin Yue and her husband Chen Cong. Zhao Jing couldn’t believe what she saw in front of her. She ran out of the house in a hurry. Lin Yue and Chen Cong hurriedly sorted themselves out after seeing Zhao Jing.
It was raining heavily outside, and Zhao Jing didn’t know where she should go, so she found a hotel and stayed in, and asked the company leader for leave. She didn’t know how such a thing could happen to her, and she didn’t know what to do now.
The wife goes out of the house to complete her husband and best friend.
After a night, Zhao Jing calmed down, she went home, Lin Yue and Chen Cong were both there. She sat down and asked calmly, “When did you get together and why did you hurt me so much? One of you is my husband and the other is my best friend. Have you considered my feelings when you do this?”
Chen Cong felt that he was ashamed of Zhao Jing, so he said: “Xiao Jing, I was drinking that day, and I was obsessed for a while, I didn’t mean it.” Zhao Jing said: “You were drunk that day. Last night, I took advantage of me. Do you all come to your house to fool around on a business trip?” Lin Yue said at this time, “Xiao Jing, I’m sorry, it’s my fault, I promise that I will leave here today and never step into your life again.”
Zhao Jing looked at the two people she loved in front of her, and her heart twitched and hurt. She said, “Chen Cong and I will break up. Since you both fall in love with each other, I will break up with you.”
Chen Cong said: “Xiaojing, don’t do this, I won’t break up.” At this time, Zhao Jing said: “You can rest assured that I will go out of the house, Lin Yue is my best friend, I will be a matchmaker for you after we break up, because I love you so I fulfill you and let you live happily together.”
Zhao Jing and Chen Cong went through the separation procedures, and she matched Lin Yue and Chen Cong to get married. She was waiting to see them live a happy life. She always knew that Lin Yue was not a quiet person, but she didn’t expect to marry Chen Cong a few days later and then hook up with someone else. Chen Cong wanted to break up in a fit of anger, but Lin Yue disagreed, and the two went to court.
Chen Cong regretted it now. He shouldn’t have chosen disloyalty for the sake of a momentary novelty and lost Zhao Jing’s good wife, but now it’s too late.
Su Qin once said: A smart woman will try to keep the distance between her best friend and her boyfriend as far as possible. They are also the two closest people in life and should stand in two diametrically opposite directions in life. Let your boyfriend accompany you when you go home, and let your girlfriend accompany you when you go out. Never mix three people to live together. Because, two people, there will be attraction. Three people will be jealous.
As the saying goes: “A bowl of rice feeds a benefactor, and a bucket of rice feeds an enemy.” Even if you are kind to me, people are not enough, and a snake swallows an elephant, I still want more. Just like a female duet, no matter what your innate conditions are, you want to sing the more prominent high pitch. And if you’re on the higher side, be careful.
Therefore, in any relationship, there can be not only the emotion of “anything is OK”, but also the cognition of “some things are not allowed”. You have to know that true friendship is not about mutual dependence, not sharing privacy, not hugging each other and crying in the dark night. It should be exchange of information, cognitive collision, exchange of resources, growing from weakness together, cheering each other up in frustration, and running together at dawn together.
Friendship is not everything. You have to admit that you are not in charge of your friend’s emotions, let alone her life. All you can do is do your best to help her when she needs you, but it’s better not to get involved in her family affairs. No matter how good friends are, you also need appropriate boundaries between you to make your relationship last long.