It took me 20 years to go to a university where you failed
Wen / Zeng Bo
Unknowingly, it has been six years since I graduated from college to work. In Beijing, 10 years have passed. The day before yesterday, my company and I applied for compensatory leave to go home in advance for the new year, and I returned to my hometown with my suitcase. I once saw a sentence on this official account: “ I think those people who are dragging suitcases along the road, men, women, young and old, are people with stories ”, As far as I am concerned, there are not so many stories, but they are all just lingering.
On the rural road, I met some of my primary school classmates and childhood playmates. I greeted them. Some didn’t recognize me, some nodded and smiled at me in a hurry, and then walked quickly. Some exchanged greetings with me, but they were all flattering. When I was a child, I fell in love with the girl secretly, and had already been a woman and had a daughter. I wanted to talk to them, but they chose to refuse. They didn’t want to have too much interaction with me, They may think that we are not in the same world for a long time.
I opened the dusty drawer, took out the graduation photo of the primary school, carefully recognized the names of each student, and recalled what had happened in the village before. Later, I was shocked to find that I was the only one who finally entered the university with a group photo of 63 students, and only a few people finally escaped the shackles of the mountain.
The story starts from the generation of the great grandfather. The great grandfather was a scholar who liked to write. At that time, he had a pen, ink, paper and inkstone at home, and a mahogany table. At that time, any child in the village who wanted to learn to read would go to the great grandfather’s home. The great grandfather, with the help of scholars, would be good all his life. In my grandfather’s generation, I met the cultural revolution. Because my family had pen and ink and a mahogany table, I was beaten as a landlord. My grandfather was admitted to college. The moment before he got on the train, he was dragged down and tied up by the Red Guards for three days and nights. If he got on the train, it would be the Rightists, and his family members would be implicated.
Grandpa began to go back to the village to eat from the same pot and join the collective activities. Every other week, he was caught writing big words about it. Later, Grandpa Xiaoping returned to Beijing. After the reform and opening up, the county cadres invited grandpa to work in education. Grandpa chose to refuse. Grandpa said to me: “ At that time, we were all chess pieces. We didn’t know whether it was left or right. What if there was another cultural revolution& rdquo; My parents got married, and then there was me. My family began to raise chickens, ducks and fields. I went to primary school in the village. The first, second and third grades of this primary school were taught in the same class, and the fourth, fifth and sixth grades were taught in another class. There were only two classes in the whole school. The first grade was taught in the second grade, and the second grade was taught in the third grade. At that time, the Chinese teacher was speaking impure Mandarin, The math teacher started to say dirty words without two sentences in class. A 40 minute class is spent under the influence of X days, X places, X cattle, X donkeys. English teacher, sorry, there is no English teacher. At that time, I still couldn’t distinguish between a public teacher and a substitute teacher. Later, I learned that there was only one public teacher in the whole school, that is, the principal, the principal of the next village or the principal of the next village.
As soon as I got home from school, my grandfather stood behind me with a stick. As soon as I was lazy, he beat me. Every weekend, my grandfather took out the green paper book bitten by a mouse and taught me to recognize ancient Chinese. I said, Grandpa, if you don’t take this exam, you can’t go to junior high school. Grandpa chirped: “ Why? We used to watch this& rdquo; Later, Grandpa sold his bike and bought me a set of teaching aids at the bookstore in the county. As soon as I failed the exam, it wasn’t me that cried, it was Grandpa.
Later, when I went to junior high school in the town, the teaching environment was much better. Most of the teachers came from normal vocational schools. At that time, there were only seven places for us to go to junior high school in primary schools. I went to the town with six other playmates to study, and most of the rest went back to help their families with farm work and help harvest rice. Then I went to the county to study in high school. Finally, I went to university in Beijing. This is my study career.
I still remember the time when I was admitted to university. My father invited the whole village to have a meal in a large open space in the village. Many villagers and my primary school classmates came to attend and cast envious eyes. The village head asked me to make a good living in Beijing. Don’t forget everyone in the future. If you can, take some primary school classmates out of here.
Later, I realized that my primary school classmates and my childhood playmates were not that they were not smart, but that they had no chance. I have only one more stick than them.
I thought I could change the world by going to university in Beijing.
When we first went to college, the teacher asked us why we wanted to apply for this school (my school is neither Tsinghua nor Peking University). More than half of my classmates answered “ The college entrance examination failed, and the school came here only after it failed ”, Most of them have registered permanent residence in Beijing, and their enrollment scores are nearly 100 points lower than ours. My answer is: it took me 20 years to come to this school with all my strength.
When they were discussing where to buy things cheaply in Hong Kong and Macao, and Australia or France, I had never even been to Tiananmen Square and the Great Wall. When I came to Beijing, my dream was the same as that of chengdongqing in the film &mdash& mdash; Go to Tiananmen Square.
One year after graduation, I lived in a 10 square meter rental house on the sixth ring road. The transportation here is quite convenient. It only takes 30 minutes to get to work. However, it has been six years, and it has not been shortened for a minute. I am afraid that the 30 minute distance will take generations of efforts to break through. After four years of higher education, I have the same vision, insight and taste as the young people in Beijing. From the abused Xiaobai intern to the team leader of the IT department, and then to another company as the director of the program department, I am wearing a straight suit, a pair of shiny leather shoes, holding an apple notebook in my hand, and then brushing the bus card &mdash& mdash; Crowded into a bus.
Later, I learned that Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou and Shenzhen can not be changed if you want to change. When you become a supervisor, others are tired of staying in Beijing, and then go abroad to fight in Singapore, London and Canada. Your goal may be the starting point for many people. There are more than 8000 provincial and ministerial level leaders and generals in office in Beijing, and tens of thousands of them will leave office. These leaders will have many children. In Beijing, there are more than 100000 cadres at the Department and bureau level, and countless will leave office. How many children and grandchildren will these people have?
However, I am not saying that the second generation of the rich and the second generation of the officials are not good. Some of my classmates who studied in Beijing are actually very kind. Some of them have become friends of mine for ten years, but you can’t explain some things. Their growth environment and teaching resources can make every trait of them have a stage bearing and shine. You should know their IQ, EQ and diligence, It can be innate or acquired “ Heredity ” of Their vision, insight and ability may be something we can’t reach in our life.
Sometimes, when we recall the grass-roots counter attack, or a spring dream, we can only accept our fate, but we are unwilling to accept it. It took me six years, with the willpower to chew bread every day, to pay the down payment for a flat on the Sixth Ring Road, and reluctantly persuaded my girlfriend’s parents to marry her daughter to me. These things, which were originally natural choices and you love me, began to become out of reach. The next step, from the Sixth Ring Road to the Third Ring Road, may take several generations and hundreds of years of efforts.
There have been more than a hundred times that I had the idea to put aside all this and go back to the mountain to open a small shop. I quit this damn class mobility. Whoever I love will do it. But when I think of the next generation, I don’t want them to repeat this fate. I can only be stubborn.
There are countless grains of sand in the desert. The luckiest sand can only float to the surface occasionally to enjoy the sunshine and the spring breeze. There are also many grains of sand, which may have never seen any sunshine in a lifetime and have been buried underneath. Everyone is like a grain of sand in the desert, but I’m a bit luckier and have a stick.
A lot of things, in fact, have been figured out for a long time. If you can’t change the world, it’s very simple. It’s right to be changed by the world. The word “stratum solidification” has made countless people cry. They can only chew it up and swallow it into their stomachs. They dare not face it. Once they face it, they may not smile when they see the rising sun tomorrow.
These, I believe not only me, but also thousands of me. My childhood playmates are not only them, but also thousands of them. In fact, the grass-roots counter attack is not forced. What is forced is that there is no hope after efforts. Disappointment is not terrible. What is terrible is that more disappointment will turn into despair. Class solidification is not terrible. What is terrible is the deep sense of powerlessness generated by class solidification. (source: Jianshu)
Author: Zeng Bo (CEO of Xiangchao Technology)
I struggled for 18 years to sing karaoke with you. I struggled for 18 years, not to drink coffee with you. I struggled for 18 years to sit and drink coffee with you