It took me three years to get rid of my inferiority complex, and another three years to be confident
Wen / Yu Yue
I am not a person born with inferiority complex, nor am I a person born with introverted personality.
I remember when I was a child, I was very noisy. I played with all kinds of downstairs neighbors every day. I didn’t do my homework after school. I left my schoolbag and ran all over the streets. I was dirty until my family tore my throat and called me home for dinner. I was reluctant to say goodbye to my little friend and looked forward to the school time tomorrow. I also like to tell stories to my classmates in the class. Being a monitor in the preschool class is a little boss. In addition, it can learn well, look cute, and the teacher likes it, so it is very popular.
But then I transferred to another school and spent a high price to enter a municipal key primary school. Every semester, I had to pay more than 900 yuan in sponsorship fees than other people’s children. At that time, 900 yuan was not a small thing. In the end, I entrusted my relatives to find the principal to study in this school. My parents had a big quarrel about this. My mother insisted on letting me go to this school, hoping to give me a good atmosphere, but my father thought it didn’t matter where I studied. Although my father finally gave in, every time I had to pay all kinds of tuition fees, the family would always quarrel.
I was very impressed. In the sixth year of primary school, I changed 8 class teachers, not to mention other subjects. I have seen teachers with different personalities. I deeply remember a PE teacher who didn’t like me very much because I was weak and not good at sports when I was a child. She was very fierce to me. She told other students that I started like a zombie, so that I didn’t dare to run in front of others for fear of being laughed at.
I don’t know from which moment, I became silent.
Later, I was admitted to a fairly good junior high school, but this score was enough to go to a private experimental middle school. So my mother hoped that I could go to that school, have a better learning atmosphere, and learn more different things. When I passed that school for the first time, I was deeply attracted. I had never seen a brand-new plastic track; Pink teaching building, spacious and bright classrooms with air conditioning; There is a school canteen and a canteen … These are all things I never had in primary school. But the tuition fees in that school are surprisingly expensive. It costs 6000 yuan a semester, excluding all kinds of other fees. For families whose parents are working, the cost is still a little large.
So the family began to quarrel again.
My nightmare probably began at this time. After entering this school, I didn’t think so. Later, I learned that many people who came to this school were the rich second generation. They used a pen worth more than ten yuan, not to mention other shoes, bicycles and other supplies. The whole school had a taste of comparison and material desires. I entered this school only 0.5 points higher than the admission line, so in this school, which is full of top students, I learned very hard.
What makes me sad is that my puberty began in junior high school, and my face was covered with acne. Therefore, those students who despised me said that I had an infectious disease and should not touch me. Sometimes they accidentally touched their desks, they would immediately take out paper towels and wipe them. They accidentally crossed the seats at the same table, and she asked me to apologize to her.
It seems that I was born inferior, with inferior grades, family wealth and appearance.
At that time, the family quarreled most fiercely, almost several times a month, and then all kinds of cold wars, throwing things, and parents ignored each other.
My father would even scold me for being useless in front of others and label me with various labels: timid, incompetent and dull …
For three years in junior high school, I lived a frightening life every day. At school, I got bad grades and was bullied by my classmates. At home, I watched endless quarrels and even wanted to die. The head teacher also talked to me and said: your parents took you to this noble school. You should study hard to repay them. Only then can you afford to pay so much money &hellip& hellip;
I am looking forward to graduation, leaving and escaping every day.
I went deeper and deeper toward the label my father had put on me.
I am also more and more self abased, and began to be more and more quiet. I am a dirty and filthy person. No one should touch me. I’m just not as good as people.
It’s easy, really easy, to destroy a person’s confidence, especially at an ignorant age. Three years is the most unforgettable student time in my life. I became silent, silent, no longer talkative, sensitive and suspicious.
With a deep sense of inferiority, I finally graduated from this middle school. During the high school entrance examination, my score was still the last in the class, but even though the score was the last in the class, it was still not low compared with other schools. So I went to a good high school in the city.
Maybe I’m used to the abnormal learning atmosphere and learning style in junior high school, so my grades in senior high school are OK, and occasionally I can take the first few exams in my class. I tried to get out of my inferiority complex and began to learn to make friends. Although I was still not used to being touched by others, I also tried to learn to change and accept.
Almost all the teachers in high school are big brothers and sisters who have just graduated. Their thoughts are closer to ours. I also began to have favorite teachers to try to learn her lessons well.
Although I am still timid, but because of their encouragement, I am also gradually cheerful.
In the third year of senior high school, I also liked a boy at work and fell in love for the first time in my life.
I began to learn to accept others and myself. I wrote some words every day to tell myself to try a little harder.
The three years of high school was a turning point in my life and my character. Although there would be quarrels at home, the school brought me happiness. I have many friends, teachers and boys I like. All of them have given me great spiritual support, accompanied me, and let me slowly get rid of my inferiority complex.
Go to an ordinary two colleges. My family also began to be busy about my college education. There were fewer quarrels between my parents, and the family economy was already very good.
I am also deeply aware that if I want to live better in this small society like university, I must learn to change myself and make myself strong, rather than live in the past according to the labels posted by others.
I try to make myself confident.
At the beginning of the University, I forced myself to stand on the podium and speak in all kinds of interviews, departments, associations and classes. Although I am so nervous that I forget my lines every time I go to the podium, I am so nervous that my hands and feet are shaking.
Forced himself to participate in various competitions, although many times there were no results and no good ranking.
I forced myself to do part-time jobs and internships. Although I was often scolded for not doing well, I laughed it off.
I will also study hard, strive for scholarships, and cultivate my own interest in a certain area. Even if I write and take photos, I will also go to other parts of the world to see a different world.
I will also try to know people who are better than me, and try to learn from them in some way. Learning to be a person is the same as learning to write, starting from imitation, and then trying to form my own style.
Although I still make mistakes and sometimes cowardly, I know it doesn’t matter, because we are still young.
In the eyes of others, I don’t have much difference from others. In addition, I am small and give the impression that most people are cheerful and humorous. Occasionally, people in college never know how low self-esteem I used to be.
The society will never sympathize with you because of your cowardice and inferiority. The weaker you are, the easier it is to be bullied. All the experiences and the past will become my accumulation. My high school class leader likes to say that the stronger the strong, the weaker the weak. This sentence is not absolute, but when you are not willing to change the current bad situation, it will really get worse and worse.
A few days ago, when I took the high-speed rail, a big brother who had graduated for several years sat with me and chatted with me. He casually asked him how you feel after working in society for so many years. He thought for a moment and left me only one sentence: as long as your heart is strong enough, you can solve all things.
May we all be treated gently by the years. Although I am not much better now, at least I have stepped out of that period of inferiority complex and gradually learned to be confident.
If you are also a person with low self-esteem, you must not forget to force yourself to keep trying, grow up as you wish, and be a strong enough person. When you get a small achievement from one thing, you will want to try again. Failure is really not terrible. What is terrible is your inferiority complex. You don’t dare to try again and can’t get out of the haze.
You must try to learn to be confident, no matter how many years it takes. (source: Jianshu)
I once wrote to all people with low self-esteem for 17 years. There is no unforgettable low self-esteem. How can I make desperate efforts