Uncover why Xiang Yu doesn’t want to make a comeback?

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Different explanations of failure determine your next step and future.

In the battle of cuxia, Xiang Yu was defeated miserably. When he broke through to the edge of the Wujiang River, TingChang persuaded him to cross the river and return to the east of the river in order to make a comeback. He said two important words, one is “having no face to see the old people in the east of the river”, the other is “the death of heaven, I don’t know what I should do”. As a result, he committed suicide by the edge of the Wujiang River at the age of 31. Why do young people give up hope? The reason lies in his view of failure. Victory or defeat is a routine matter for soldiers. What matters is not how much he fails, but how he explains it.

Psychologist Weiler has done a research: for middle school students who have low scores in an exam, ask them why they think they are poor in the exam? Students’ explanations can be divided into four “reasons”: I’m stupid, I don’t study hard, I’m unlucky, and the exam questions are too difficult. In terms of nature, “I’m stupid” and “I don’t work hard” are internal reasons, which are related to myself; “I’m unlucky” and “the exam questions are too difficult” are external reasons, and it’s not my fault. Weiler found that those who attributed the test difference to internal causes had a more depressed self-esteem and a more negative emotional response; On the contrary, those who attribute it to external causes will have less above-mentioned troubles and appear more relaxed and happy. This is also the main “reason” why most people like to attribute their failure to external reasons.

From another perspective, the causes can also be divided into stable and unstable. “I’m stupid” and “the exam questions are too difficult” are stable reasons, while “I don’t study hard” and “I’m not lucky” are unstable reasons. Stable factors are likely to reappear in the next exam. I am still as stupid and the questions are still as difficult. The expectation of success is obviously not high. However, unstable factors are unlikely to reappear. As long as you refuel a little and have good luck, your achievements are likely to improve, and the expectation of success will naturally be higher. Wheeler’s research confirmed this. He tracked the scores of these students on several subsequent exams and found that students who originally thought their poor scores were due to unstable factors had made visible progress in their scores; However, those who thought that their poor exam was due to stability factors did not make any progress, and even went from bad to worse.

Xiang Yu’s “shameless to see Jiangdong father” said that he had a strong self-esteem. Such people like to attribute their failure to external factors – not “the crime of using the army” (their own mistakes in using the army), but “the death of heaven” (the intention of heaven). But the will of God will not change. It is also a stable factor. If Xiang Yu attributes his failure to this stable factor, his expectation for the future will become very low. In the absence of strong motivation to make a comeback, “early exit” has become his only way out.

If you want to make yourself happy, you should attribute your failure externally; If you want to make a comeback, you should attribute your failure to unstable and changeable reasons.

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