A while ago, I received a letter from reader Liu Mengwei, saying that he and his wife had been married for 10 years, and also expressed the suffering of some middle-aged men.
37-year-old Liu Mengwei and his wife Guan Xueqing of the same age have been married for 10 years. Their daughter has just started elementary school. Because the school is near her grandparents’ house, her daughter is at their house most of the time, so the family is always their husband and wife.
Liu Mengwei is very busy at work, while Guan Xueqing can work a lot more leisurely, but the wages of the two add up to a lot, and they are not worried about their daily life. Usually, outsiders see the couple as happy partners during the day, but at night the two of them are However, there are frequent quarrels, and a very important point is that there is a problem in the married life.
In fact, in Liu Mengwei’s words, he was also very powerful when he was young: “When we were in love, Guan Xueqing and I were not in the same university, but the cities of the two universities were adjacent to each other, so I would go to her every weekend, she told me In this case, when I go to her, she loves it and hates it, because every time I go to her, I spend almost two days in the hotel, and she can’t walk normally for several days after I leave.”
It’s normal for young guys to be passionate about the opposite sex, but everything should not be too much, just like the saying “too much is too much”, which also laid the foundation for the future marriage of Liu Mengwei and Guan Xueqing.
When he was young, Liu Mengwei didn’t want anything but love and affection with his partner, but after getting married, he set up a family, had a child, and had four parents to take care of, which put a lot of pressure on Liu Mengwei: “When I first got married, I was everywhere. I needed money, and my dad was in bad health all the time. Plus, Guan Xueqing soon became pregnant with our daughter. My eyes were full of earning money to support my family. With a heavy burden on my shoulders, I naturally looked down on things like husband and wife. ”
At that time, Guan Xueqing was not as enthusiastic as she is now. After all, she was a new mother, her enthusiasm for her daughter was higher than anything else, and her energy was also spent on her.
However, since her daughter went to school and went to live with her grandparents, Guan Xueqing began to let herself go, and would not give up without exercising several times with her husband every night.
“I used to say it several times, but now I have to listen to her when it will end. But I have to go to work the next day, and there are a lot of things to deal with, but after the event she not only wants to chat with me, but also I’m no longer shy about talking about how my body feels, when it comes to being happy and even wanting it, and I have to keep my energy up all the time, but if I’m a little distracted and want to fall asleep, she immediately says I don’t love her anymore.”
After several times of being angry with this kind of thing, Liu Mengwei himself felt helpless, but he felt that his wife was right. After all, his wife was responsible for coaxing him, which was also his responsibility.
And since the wife was particularly interested in these things, she also discussed with the surrounding sisters and pointed fingers at the husbands of various families. The content of what she said was even more daring than that of men. She even proposed to Liu Mengwei a minimum requirement three times a week, and asked Guaranteed quality and quantity, otherwise you just don’t love her.
This made Liu Mengwei miserable and completely impossible to complete the task, but he never expected his wife to learn these things from her best friends, which made Liu Mengwei the laughing stock of everyone.
In the face of Liu Mengwei’s request that she stop talking, Guan Xueqing said confidently: “I didn’t lose you when you were young, so now I have needs and you can’t lose me, otherwise you will force me to look outside. ”
Guan Xueqing’s words made Liu Mengwei extremely helpless, but he couldn’t refute it. Every day because of this, the two of them were always in a bad temper, and it even reached the point of affecting their relationship and marriage.
“I don’t want to get divorced, but my body really can’t bear it, and sometimes I hide by working overtime, but I can’t hide for a while, and when I hide a few times, I’m even more angry than my face. There is nothing else to do.”
Liu Mengwei’s experience may be an example, but it is also something that many middle-aged men are facing. Because men and women have different growth cycles, men are most prosperous in their twenties, so they are often called “little wolf dogs”. , but women will not grow to their prime until they know more after the age of 35, so there is a corresponding saying to describe “Thirty is like a wolf, forty is like a tiger”, which is not made up.
In fact, it can be found that the problems between Liu Mengwei and his wife are not too small or too small, and they can be solved even if they are to be solved, but if they are not solved, they are likely to become the executioners of the marriage.
After all, this is the cause that Liu Mengwei planted when he was young. If he is a little older, he can only eat the fruits of that time. This is a problem that will inevitably arise in marriage, that is, the harvest and the pay are equal.
However, just speaking now, Liu Mengwei is indeed overwhelmed by his health, but hiding is not a good way to solve the bell. It requires more wisdom from Liu Mengwei.
In fact, it is difficult to say things about husband and wife, and simple and simple. According to the former, Liu Mengwei exercised well, trained himself well, and satisfied his wife naturally so that his wife had no complaints. The latter is expressed in other ways, but the premise is It was the communication that made this matter only revolve around the two of them.
The first is to take a positive attitude to face it, improve the working environment in life, reduce the labor intensity, and have a reasonable diet, recuperate the body, and reduce complaints at the same time. As a husband, you must understand your wife and adjust according to her emotions;
Secondly, communicate well. Happy things still need to be guaranteed in quality, not in quantity. Just like a good saying “A small marriage is better than a new marriage”, adjust the frequency twice a week or once a week, but every time I do my best to make both parties satisfied;
The third and most important point, in fact, in addition to “the love of the bed”, for a woman, the usual physical contact such as hugging and kissing can also make her feel your love. Doing more of these actions can actually satisfy her. heart.
After all, marriage is still a matter of two people. Since entering into marriage, they must be responsible for the marriage, for their partner, and for themselves. This requires two people to work together. Mutual respect, communication, and understanding are the foundation of marriage. Be careful and make life full of fun, and don’t be sly when it’s time to work hard. This is the key to “sex happiness”, and “sexual happiness” creates happiness and can go hand in hand for a lifetime.